I am getting married in 3 days and to be honest this sucks!
“Whoooaa what are you saying there? Wedding is the MOST magical MOST important MOST beautiful day of your life and you’re saying that that sucks??”
No, I’m not saying that wedding sucks, the preparation does. And not ALL wedding preparations, MY wedding preparation. I know I should be grateful that I get to have a rather grandeur wedding with huge amazing hotel as the reception venue and God knows I am grateful! If I am grateful for the overall wedding, can I complain about the small little annoying stuff that has been happening this past few months?? Not so much of a complain too, just a little piece of my mind (this is what I call “justifying excuse” lol).
First thing I notice is how a LOT of wedding vendors are not just as professional as I thought they should be. Living in a small city, there are not many options to choose from and these vendors have been in almost every middle class’ weddings. I was being naive at first because I thought if they have had served in so many weddings and people still keep using them, then they should be good and they should know the drill.
Some vendors are just.. I wanna say, clueless? About 60% of them don’t care about my wedding and don’t address my issues until the very last minute. At first they would be all OK can do and OK noted, and so I thought that’s great. But when the time is getting closer and I asked for the progress, most of them would evade the question. I asked for the photos of the products they’re making and they won’t send the photos for me to see. They would just say how oh it’s on progress oh it’s not done yet.
Some other vendors would just ignore my request to make the products ready by the beginning of this month. I even lied to them saying how I’m gonna wanna use the products before the wedding day for whatever reason and they act like I never said that. They would just keep postponing the deadline thinking that welp too bad, you’re just not gonna be able to use it. And I bet they think that huh just relax, it’s gonna be ready for your wedding day anyway, why rush me?
Well, I don’t like that! I wanna see the progress because I wanna make sure that whatever you’re doing is just like what you said to me earlier. I wanna make sure that the right color appears on the right position and spot. What is the odd of having 2 people saying “soft pink” and actually imagine the same shade? So I tracked that vendor a month before the wedding to see the progress and he said that it’s not done yet, and his partner said that she’s gonna send the photos to me later when there’s more progress to it. A few weeks later I asked to demand the same thing and she said that it will be him who would send the photos. He didn’t send me any photos but that night he called me asking if I receive the photos he said he had sent earlier that noon. I said I didn’t receive any photos and asked him to send them again. Right after that I got the photos. I know I should not have that negative thinking against him but I kinda did anyway.
I looked at the photos and saw no soft pink whatsoever, it was more like a pinkish fuchsia. I understand that handphone screen colors might differ but I can’t accept that at all because it’s way off than what I had in mind. I told him to change it to gold. And now I felt bad since I want to change the design last minute. In my defense, it wouldn’t be last minute if only he had had showed me that pink earlier (again, maybe it’s a justifying excuse, lol).
Another vendor seems really lovely and seems genuine and I like her. But she kept postponing giving detailed invoice or even an estimate price. She said that she still hasn’t had the answer from her supplier and she would know by next month. The next month came and she postponed it to next week. The next week came and she postponed it to tomorrow. The next day came and we couldn’t wait any longer so we made a deal with another same-type vendor. Right after we made that (much more expensive) deal, she told us the price and said that she could do the service. Talk about bad luck!
Man, I could go on and on about these not-so-professional vendors but I need to sleep soon so let’s go on to the next issue.
Now this issue can be sensitive so I would try hard to use unoffensive words because I never have the intention to offend anyone anyway.
When you have a wedding in Indonesia, it’s never just between celebrating your love to your partner. It will be the parents’ event to show off what they have to the relatives and acquaintances. Traditional parents are conflicted because they want to follow tradition that they themselves know nothing about! Sure most of the couples use the parents’ money to have the reception but that’s just causing the problem for me.
I think it would be most ideal if the wedding is really up to the couple. If the parents are generous enough to donate then it’s wonderful but if the couple is the independent kind, they should just have wedding according to their financial situation and to their liking. This way, there would be no difference in opinion and parents and children wouldn’t have to argue and bump their heads against each other.
Parenting is hard, so is being a parent and we the children know that. But sometimes I hope that they know how hard it is to be their children too! It is so often that they are caught up in their business that they don’t notice the kids. It’s typical in Asian countries. From my experience, parents are damn hard to cooperate. When we were little, the parents would usually say that we are naughty and we don’t obey them and stuff. Then people will tell us how when we have kids on our own, we would know the feeling. Before even having kids, I kinda already know how it feels when people (parents here) are “naughty” to me.
My fiancé and I would ask our parents about some decision and they would say OK OK can can sure sure at the time but later changed their mind when it’s getting closer and it’s harder to make amendments. There was also a time when I thought I could use this wedding opportunity to design my own invitation and introduce my skill to the guests. It was not until the very end where one of the parents decided they didn’t like the base color and had it changed to something I’m really against. So there you have it, I can no longer claim it to be my design though it was only the color that’s changed. I cried about this. (omg what a crybaby)
I also feel like they don’t understand the importance of being ready beforehand enough. We kept asking them to prepare the list of guests (parents acquaintances), list of their arrival, their full name and so on but they kept postponing. I planned to kinda get relaxed few days before the wedding to get my skin fresh and it ain’t gonna happen. On these last days, I still need to update stuff every time. They finally gave out the names and the list that we needed. And sometimes they will say one thing about this auntie and when we ask that auntie, she would say another thing.
This wedding preparation is a treat, indeed! (sarcasm here!)
Above all these little annoying things that keep happening these past few months, I have to say I am so so so so glad that I will be marrying my best friend, my soulmate and my prince. I am thankful that I get to go through all this with him. God is good and I believe that I have been given everything that I need in life. Though if I get to do this all over again I would plead to not have a wedding party, I’m still thankful that it’s gonna happen soon and quite excited to experience all this.
Overall, I made a promise to myself, if I ever have children and they are about to get married, I would NOT meddle in their way and would NOT force my opinion on them. I realize I will never have my dream wedding (because of so many demands from parents) but this chain stops with me.